3 c. neglectful church goers
2 c. self-rising hypocrites
1/2 tsp. jealousy
1 c. frozen Amen
3/4 tbsp. whispers
Dash of dried up deacons
2 tbsp. sleepy singers
1 pinch tightwad tithers
Dash of sermons
2 tbsp. twinkle tongues
1 tbsp. fault finders

Mix thoroughly neglectful church goers with self rising hypocrites. Then add dried up deacons, sleepy singers and a pinch of tightwad tithers. Mixture should be good and lumpy. Let set for sermon.

Gradually add in jealousy, frozen Amen and whispers. These ingredients will make it thick and stiff. Be sure to use a spoon, you don't want to miss a crumb. After all these ingredients are mixed up, sermon is over, add twinkle tongues and fault finders. This will add a good flavor to roast. By this time your preacher should be cooked, stewed and boiled. You should now have a well, unbalanced roasted preacher.

This recipe is well known throughout the churches today. It's simple and tasty and you don't even use a stove.